I struggle hard to forget the thing that had been bothering me all this time, the yearning for something that would never be achieved in the short term.
Along the process, I found myself pushing a heavy boulder uphill. It was difficult to let go of something when your heart doesn’t really want to. Just like you want to erase a carving on a solid rock. It’s possible as time goes by, but it’s detrimental to the rock itself. Or you want to remove a nail buried deep in a plank, at the end of the day you succeed to, but what you will have in your hand is a chunk of wood full of holes and rough surfaces here and there. That is why; you really need to think a lot first before carving something on the rock or hitting the nail into the wood because the repercussions is huge and will affect you for the rest of your life.
During this period, I receive my revelations. I started to see the reason why the feelings keep on attached to me. Being a teenager or to be more precise, a Muslim teenager in today’s world is not a path full of roses and fragrance. Every day in our life, we are exposed to the lifestyles and things that are not ours in the first place. Yet, we are told that it is BAD and we are NOT to follow it.
We put a plate filled with grilled fishes in front of a stray cat sitting on the floor. When it tries to reach it, we beat and kick it. Ironic.
People fell in love. In the first year or several month , it was beautiful. The feeling was unexplainable, it was like high on drugs. Second year, it transformed into feeling of attachment. The passion that was felt before lessen. It turns into something more to responsibility. Responsibility to finish what had been started. And during this phase, some relationships broke.
“Love begins with a smile, grows with an embrace, & ends with a teardrop, if it's not for the sake of Allah”
True enough. And the cycle goes on and on. Met new person, fell , and the same thing happens. Where’s the end of it?
That left me asking again , why do we need to have this desire?
Why we want to love and be loved? Why we are sad when someone important in our live leave us alone when we needed them the most? Why do we cry when someone which meant so much to us left us or die? Why do people kept buying cosmetics products and spent thousands of dollars to look beautiful and young? Why do we want the feeling that we felt , the people around us,and the life that we had to last forever?
Because WE ARE NOT CREATED to live in this world. Our nature does not allow us to live in tranquility in this world. We are created to long for something eternal. Something that will last forever. And we cannot find it here. This temporary world is not our true home, not the place where our nature will be satisfied.The only place that we will finally feel content is there. There’s no use of searching it here. Don’t blame them for leaving you. Don’t blame them for not caring for you anymore. Don’t blame the products that you use or the workout that you do. But blame yourself.
If you lean against a branch and it broke and you fell , can you blame the tree?
If you put a vase at the corner of a table , it fell and shatters into pieces, can you blame the gravity?
No. Because it’s your fault. Your fault that you are depending upon something which is temporary. You put your dependence on people, you let people define how you feel and how you act . And that’s why you bear the consequences.
Depend on the One. The Eternal One. The All-Knowing One. The One that can do anything that He wants.
If you have friends, don’t expect them to fill your emptiness.
If you get married, don’t hope your spouse will fulfill all your needs.
If you ever fell in love, don’t act beyond His limits, because you know that He is the one who bestows the feeling and He can take it anytime.
If you think that you have a nice look and a pretty face, know that it came from Him.
If you are sad because someone left you, know that He sends peole in your life to hurt you so that you will grow, to teach you that you may know or to spend time with you for the rest of your life.
He is the Hills, and He is the Sea.
notajarijemari :: Everything flows from Him and goes back to Him =)